I posted this to my personal Facebook last week, because I was getting a lot of questions from non-fan friends about why I love the Boys so much. I’ve since created the BSB Cruise Vlog Facebook page so I’m not inundating them, but I felt like I should share this.
A note to my non-Backstreet friends about my social media accounts:
No, it’s not going to be all Backstreet all the time. No, I won’t be doing Facebook Live vlogs every other day until the end of days. No, my Instagram and Twitter are not going to be forever dedicated to the Backstreet Boys. This is something different I’m doing leading up to this year’s cruise, which will be in early May. I already have a ton of fan friends here on FB and communicating with them was the primary reason I even set up an Insta/Twitter in the first place. I was too lazy to start a vlog and build a following when I basically already had one if that makes sense. So – rest assured that this not permanent.
I’ve had a few of you {non-BSB fans} ask me why I love them so much. I’ve touched on it briefly, but I’ve never really been specific – so here it is. In middle school, during the height of their success, I was at a super low point in my life. I was learning a lot of truth about the situation with my mom, feeling like I wasn’t good enough because she’d basically thrown me away in favor of her drug addiction. Top that off with being a pre-teen girl who was going through those changes without a steady female figure in her life…and yeah. It was rough. Like, really rough.
I tried to commit suicide twice between the ages of 11 and 13.
During those years, the Backstreet Boys, their music, and the fandom were literally the only bright spot in my life. It was the ONE thing that I knew I could turn to and always find some kind of Happiness in it. Neither the Boys nor the other fans I met because of them ever judged me. Looking forward to album releases, concerts, and TV appearances kept me going.
For those of you who’ve been lucky enough to never deal with depression or to be a part of a fandom, you may not understand either or both of those concepts. Some of you might still think that this is all ‘pretty lame’. As to the latter, IDGAF. Obviously, lol.
So, why I am still a fan at almost 31 years old? I see them, and it’s not just nostalgia for the 90’s. It evokes a feeling of Home – not as in ‘home like a place’ but ‘home like a safety net’. Those 5 men saved my life and they’ll never know it. So part of it is a sense of loyalty. I’ll be the first to admit that not every song is Grammy-worthy {I’m actually not a big fan of their biggest hit, I Want It That Way}. That being said, it’s not just about the music. There are a lot of things and nuances about being a Backstreet Fan that you would have to be a fan to truly understand.
Going on these cruises, for me, is like going to a Family Reunion. It’s like a tune up for my heart and an infusion of pure, unadulterated joy into my life. They live in my heart because I would NOT be here today if it weren’t for them. I’m the Kim you all know and love {maybe, lol} because they kept me alive long enough to get through that period of my life to the better days that came after.
You don’t have to get it – but there it is.
“I’ll be The One
Who will make all your sorrows undone
I’ll be the light
When you feel like there’s no where to run”
-Kim
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